Too often, there seems to be a blind eye. Frequently this blind eye isn't facing anyone. The blind eye is turned toward one's self. Unfortunately the old saying is correct, "It's easier to give advice than to listen to your own." I experienced that this July weekend. Most of my friends are younger than me, unfortunately that means a significant drop in maturity. I try to teach them lessons and this time, I did. I hope.
Recently, I sat with a group of my friends. Younger men, 21. Out at a public beach, on July 3rd. Social mixing was occurring. Finding a place on top of the blanket, I saw behavior that made me sick. Vulgarity, lack of concern and what I would consider scientific definitions of retardation. Plainly, they acted like fools.
Swearing, stating blatantly sexual harassment type of comments along with poking fun at passing teenagers. I admit, at times, it was hilarious. Always with their own twist but I commented to them. "I don't agree with swearing or harassment in any form." It didn't seem right to me. Then an older woman asked the guys, "How come you aren't with any women?" She made a joke about them and they quickly shut up. If it wasn't for one of my friends being african-american all of them would have blushed instead of 4 out of 5. I laughed.
After the woman left, I told them. "Women like respectful, decent and all around good guys." They blew me off, talking more trash. Then I decided to get up and move over to strangers. Not just any strangers but very attractive over-21 year old women. I approached by myself and didn't say anything to my friends as I left.
I heard a few words as I left, "Where's Dustin going?" or "Oh, I bet he doesn't want to be around the swearing, what a bitch." As I sat with the women, I suddenly heard my friends go silent. Speaking nicely, no swearing and calling them ladies and women. (Using 'women & ladies' that goes a long way in the Generation Y) I was able to make a very good impression, get a few laughs and set up a rendezvous for later that night.
Sitting for a while. I could see my friends sending me messages on my phone, trying to send ASL signs or trying to think of excuses for walking over. I ignored their text messages, pretended to not see their hand signs and returned to them just as I saw them devise a plan to walk over.
When I sat back down, I told them. Oh those girls, their cool. My friends asked me, "What did you say when you sat down?" I told them, "I just said, hi my name is Dustin, I just graduated from the University of Minnesota. What are your names?"
Then my friends asked, "Why didn't you invite us over or talk about us?" I told them honestly, "Because I wanted to make a good impression for you." One friend paused for a second, he looked dumbfounded. He pursed his lips then asked, "What do you mean a good impression for us?"
This was what I was waiting for, I can finally teach them without the curtious m thinking I am being a pomus, overly confident dick.
I paused waiting for their attention to rise then said, "I've made a great impression for you because I am your friend. The girls will believe all of you are as respectful as I was when speaking with them. If you go over there and ruin that impression, clearly you're not great friends and not great people for me to be around. I did a favor for you by making people believe that you're mature, intelligent and courteous. You didn't allow me the same favor before but I believe in second chances."
The most arrogant guy stopped and said, "Bullshit, you did it just to try and get laid." I retorted, "If you don't want to be respectful when you meet them, fine. They will spend more time with me and my nice-guy friends." Then I waited a second and hit him where it counts, honor, "I am a friend too all of you and you should remember, at any moment, you are representing yourself, the university of Minnesota, our fraternity, your friends and family. Don't make a bad impression for those people because you know if asked, they will make a great impression for you."
They paused for a second, trying to weed through what I just said to them. I stood, told them I needed to get a beer and left. Afterwards a few of them came to me and told me that they would stop acting like such idiots when I was with them. Also, if i could introduce them to those girls, they would be respectful.
They learned that turning a blind eye to your own behavior is dumb, cruel to those who care about you and just stupid if you think life won't find a way to enforce the rules of karma. I met wonderful women and some of them were left alone all night. Wondering why women just weren't into them. Unfortunately, most men need to be rejected enough times to learn what not-to-do.
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